We Are Members of the Extended Family of Christ
Reflection by Fr. Maximilian Buonocore, OSB
On this day when we commemorate the Holy Family of Christ, I think a lot about family life. I think of the monastic community as a family. It does function like a family - not always like a holy family - but always like a family. Let me give you an example of family life in the monastery at Newark Abbey. Decorating the church columns requires that I get on a high ladder. When I do that job, I like to have someone to assist me to do, among other things, hold the ladder so that it doesn’t slip and I do not lose my balance and fall as I am trying to secure the swags and bows. I was asking to see if anyone was available to assist me. Everyone had something to do, and making their apologies, told me that they were not available. Well, I wasn’t going to settle for no. So I said, for others to hear,” That’s OK, I’ll just work on that high ladder by myself. I’m not worried. If I fall, I am ready to meet the Lord.” Fr. Ed quickly said, “No! Don’t do that. That would ruin my weekend.” Then Br. Bruno spoke up, “I will come to help you. Heaven forbid you should ruin anyone’s weekend.” Well, I got the help I needed and I didn’t ruin anyone’s weekend. That is family life: your confreres are always ready to help you in time of need; and, if they're not, it is easy to persuade them to help you. It is about fraternal charity, even if it is imperfect charity.
I remember there was a period when a certain confrere would say, referring to our monastic community, “This is not a family. This is hard work.” I explained to him that he was half right. It is indeed hard work when it comes to loving one another. But the idea that we are a family is not only not excluded by the fact of the hard work, but being a family is fostered by the hard work. Our monastic community is indeed a family. That is why it is hard work. You’ve heard the old adage: a family that prays together stays together. Well, I would assert that the better adage would be: a family that prays and works together stays together. Ora et labora is in the DNA of a family in Christ, because the DNA of a family in Christ is love. Ora et lobora - prayer and service - is the double helix of coding for divine life.
Christ has two immediate families that he belongs to: his divine immediate family which is the Holy Trinity – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – and his human immediate family – Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. But he also has a vast extended family. Through the work of the Holy Spirit, brought to fruition in the Incarnation of the Son of God, the Lord’s extended family is engendered, and continues to grow. His human extended family is the Body of Christ. As members of the Body of Christ, as People of God and children of the Heavenly Father, we are members of Christ’s Holy Family – his extended holy family. Yes, we are members of the Holy Family: “My mother and my brothers and my sisters are those who hear the word of God and do it.” That is how we should see ourselves, whether with regard to our family of origin or our monastic family - these families, to which we belong, are an extension of the Holy Family of Christ. It is not just a question of following the example of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, but of allowing the reality of our kinship with them to govern our attitudes and behaviors as we interact with our sisters or brothers in Christ in our monastic or home family. The blood of kinship in us is the Spirit of Christ which is transmitted through his very blood that was shed on the Cross and which we receive daily at the Holy Eucharist.
Being a true member of the extended Holy Family of Christ means being able to respond to the Lord’s presence in my brothers and sisters with the self-sacrificial passion of love. Just like Mary, whose heart was pierced by the sword of immolating self-sacrificial love, and Joseph, who, after hearing the voice of the angel tell him about the divine origin of the child in Mary’s womb, took Mary under his roof, so I too must, hearing the voice of the Spirit, deep within me, telling me of the divine origin of that person who has hurt me, or annoys me, or challenges my patience - being, as she or he is, created in the image and likeness of God - fear not to take that sister or brother into the shelter of my heart, under the roof of compassion. I have to listen to the voice of the spirit of Christ in me, the voice of the angel of the Lord, saying to my heart that that person who has hurt me is a child of God. That person has within him or her Christ, who comes to me as a challenge to my growth in patience and charity. This is how I live as a true member of the Holy Family of Christ : always ready to meet the Lord when he comes to me in my brothers and sisters; ready to meet him when he comes to me through them with consolation and enjoyment, but also when he comes to me through them with challenges that may make me fume and challenge my growth in patience and charity. It is then that I, like Joseph did, take the mother of the Lord under the roof of my heart for her to bear Jesus in my soul as mercy and compassion for that child of God who is most challenging to me.
We should meditate upon this very carefully. A break in the bond of friendship between two members of the community constitutes a rupture in the Holy Family of Christ here on earth. Every division, every fracture, that happens in relationships, whether in the monastic community or in a home community of family of origin - whether it be because of anger, or envy, or jealousy, or unwillingness to forgive a hurt - constitutes a division or fracture in the extended Holy Family of Christ. We are called to live as true members of the household of Christ, with the very blood of Christ pulsing from the heart and coursing through our spiritual veins; with the very Spirit of Christ - the breath of love - breathing divine life through the spiritual lungs of our soul, making us sons and daughters of God in a divine family, living by the life-force of faith, hope and love. This is how we are called to live: Like Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, as members of the Holy Family of the Lord: A family of kings and priests - a royal Holy Family.
I remember there was a period when a certain confrere would say, referring to our monastic community, “This is not a family. This is hard work.” I explained to him that he was half right. It is indeed hard work when it comes to loving one another. But the idea that we are a family is not only not excluded by the fact of the hard work, but being a family is fostered by the hard work. Our monastic community is indeed a family. That is why it is hard work. You’ve heard the old adage: a family that prays together stays together. Well, I would assert that the better adage would be: a family that prays and works together stays together. Ora et labora is in the DNA of a family in Christ, because the DNA of a family in Christ is love. Ora et lobora - prayer and service - is the double helix of coding for divine life.
Christ has two immediate families that he belongs to: his divine immediate family which is the Holy Trinity – Father, Son, and Holy Spirit – and his human immediate family – Jesus, Mary, and Joseph. But he also has a vast extended family. Through the work of the Holy Spirit, brought to fruition in the Incarnation of the Son of God, the Lord’s extended family is engendered, and continues to grow. His human extended family is the Body of Christ. As members of the Body of Christ, as People of God and children of the Heavenly Father, we are members of Christ’s Holy Family – his extended holy family. Yes, we are members of the Holy Family: “My mother and my brothers and my sisters are those who hear the word of God and do it.” That is how we should see ourselves, whether with regard to our family of origin or our monastic family - these families, to which we belong, are an extension of the Holy Family of Christ. It is not just a question of following the example of Jesus, Mary and Joseph, but of allowing the reality of our kinship with them to govern our attitudes and behaviors as we interact with our sisters or brothers in Christ in our monastic or home family. The blood of kinship in us is the Spirit of Christ which is transmitted through his very blood that was shed on the Cross and which we receive daily at the Holy Eucharist.
Being a true member of the extended Holy Family of Christ means being able to respond to the Lord’s presence in my brothers and sisters with the self-sacrificial passion of love. Just like Mary, whose heart was pierced by the sword of immolating self-sacrificial love, and Joseph, who, after hearing the voice of the angel tell him about the divine origin of the child in Mary’s womb, took Mary under his roof, so I too must, hearing the voice of the Spirit, deep within me, telling me of the divine origin of that person who has hurt me, or annoys me, or challenges my patience - being, as she or he is, created in the image and likeness of God - fear not to take that sister or brother into the shelter of my heart, under the roof of compassion. I have to listen to the voice of the spirit of Christ in me, the voice of the angel of the Lord, saying to my heart that that person who has hurt me is a child of God. That person has within him or her Christ, who comes to me as a challenge to my growth in patience and charity. This is how I live as a true member of the Holy Family of Christ : always ready to meet the Lord when he comes to me in my brothers and sisters; ready to meet him when he comes to me through them with consolation and enjoyment, but also when he comes to me through them with challenges that may make me fume and challenge my growth in patience and charity. It is then that I, like Joseph did, take the mother of the Lord under the roof of my heart for her to bear Jesus in my soul as mercy and compassion for that child of God who is most challenging to me.
We should meditate upon this very carefully. A break in the bond of friendship between two members of the community constitutes a rupture in the Holy Family of Christ here on earth. Every division, every fracture, that happens in relationships, whether in the monastic community or in a home community of family of origin - whether it be because of anger, or envy, or jealousy, or unwillingness to forgive a hurt - constitutes a division or fracture in the extended Holy Family of Christ. We are called to live as true members of the household of Christ, with the very blood of Christ pulsing from the heart and coursing through our spiritual veins; with the very Spirit of Christ - the breath of love - breathing divine life through the spiritual lungs of our soul, making us sons and daughters of God in a divine family, living by the life-force of faith, hope and love. This is how we are called to live: Like Jesus, Mary, and Joseph, as members of the Holy Family of the Lord: A family of kings and priests - a royal Holy Family.
All for Jesus,
Fr. Max
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